My approach to public speaking and workshops has always been interactive. I typically begin by establishing my credentials. I spent around 15 years as a senior PA and office manager. Then I became a business editor. More recently, I’ve worked as a content designer and strategist for Cancer Research UK, the Metropolitan Police Service and other clients.

But then I turn to what matters most: hearing from the professionals in the room. 

At a recent workshop I asked senior PAs to share their biggest workplace challenges. I expected a discussion about difficult executives or impossible deadlines. Instead, we had a rather raw, honest conversation about mental health.

One participant said: “We’re trained to handle everyone else’s crises. No one ever taught us how to handle our own.”

It shows how central executive assistant wellbeing has become to sustainable performance.

Workplace distress

The goal of my sessions isn’t to deliver prepared content. It’s to uncover what affects people’s ability to deliver top performance day in, day out.

And what often comes to the surface is the unspoken toll of emotional labour and its impact on executive assistant wellbeing.

As a trauma-informed content writer for vulnerable populations, I’ve come to recognise the telltale patterns of unprocessed workplace distress.

I can tell you with absolute certainty: many executive assistants are carrying the weight of experiences that meet the clinical definition of workplace trauma.

Trauma accumulates

The problem lies partly in our professional identity. Executive assistants have long prided themselves on emotional resilience, on being the unshakeable presence in chaotic environments.

We’re the ones who manage impossible expectations. We absorb displaced anger, navigate conflicting priorities and hold space for executives who may themselves be operating from places of significant stress or past trauma.

In my work with for Cancer Research UK‘s website, I learned that trauma isn’t always dramatic or immediately recognisable.

It can accumulate over time if we work in environments where we’re not in control. Perhaps someone regularly violates our boundaries. Or we’re exposed to the distress of others without a chance to process it.

Signs of weakness

I once worked for a very temperamental executive during a company restructure.

I saw daily emotional outbursts for months. I had to deal with employees who feared redundancy. I had to manage the fallout when difficult decisions were finally communicated.

I managed to stay calm and professional throughout. But three months later, I found myself unable to enter meeting rooms without my heart racing and feeling light-headed.

At the time, I thought of these as signs of weakness. Now, with the benefit of trauma-informed training, I recognise them as my body’s reasonable response to prolonged emotional distress without adequate processing time or support.

These physical manifestations are important signals that executive assistant wellbeing requires our attention.

Secondary trauma

The executive assistant role sits at a complex intersection. We’re often privy to information and situations that would be considered emotionally challenging by any standard. For example, impending redundancies, corporate crises, personal difficulties affecting our executives, ethical dilemmas and workplace conflicts.

Yet we’re expected to absorb, contain and manage these situations without visible impact on our own wellbeing.

When I train executive assistants now, I introduce them to the concept of secondary trauma. This is something well recognised in healthcare, social work and crisis response professions. It’s rarely discussed in corporate environments.

Secondary trauma occurs when we’re repeatedly exposed to others’ distressing experiences. The cumulative effect can mirror the symptoms of direct trauma. Examples are hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, emotional numbness and difficulty maintaining healthy boundaries.

These concepts are fundamental to understanding and improving executive assistant wellbeing in modern workplace environments.

Internalised organisational stress

One senior EA I worked with described sitting in her car for twenty minutes gathering the courage to enter the building.

Her boss was an of several senior executives who behaviour was frankly unacceptable. Yet no one stood up to him. He would routinely raise his voice, break phones and have staff in tears in meetings.

She had exemplary performance reviews and genuine appreciation from her executive. But she had internalised so much of the organisational stress that her nervous system was constantly on high alert.

Start with validation

A trauma-informed approach to executive assistant wellbeing begins with validation.

The emotional labour required in these roles is real, large and worth acknowledging. The impact of this labour on your nervous system, your personal relationships and your sense of self is not imaginary. It’s not a sign of professional inadequacy either.

These principles from trauma-informed practice are helpful if you’re supporting executives through particularly challenging circumstances:

Safety first. This means psychological and physical safety. Notice when you begin feeling unsafe in your body during workplace interactions. Tight chest, shallow breathing and racing thoughts are telltale signs. Don’t ignore them.

Understand that trauma responses aren’t rational choices. Do you find yourself unable to set boundaries, people-pleasing beyond reasonable limits or freezing when confronted with certain situations or individuals? These may be trauma responses rather than character flaws or professional weaknesses.

Recognise that workplace patterns often mirror earlier life experiences. Many exceptional management support professionals were parentified children. They took on caregiving or emotional management roles in their families of origin.

This can create both extraordinary capabilities and particular vulnerabilities in professional settings.

Conscious breathing

The healing pathway begins with awareness and small adjustments rather than dramatic changes.

I’ve worked with Executive Assistants who transformed their experience by introducing brief moments of conscious breathing between tasks. They have created small rituals to mark the transition between work and home. Others have establishing one genuinely protected hour each day.

These practical steps form the foundation of sustainable executive assistant wellbeing.

Trauma specialist Babette Rothschild says: “Put your feet on the floor, feel the support of the chair beneath you, and look around the room noticing what you see.”

This simple grounding technique can interrupt the autonomic stress response during challenging interactions.

Avoidance isn’t an option

Trauma, whether from a single devastating event or cumulative exposure to distress, disconnects us from our sense of choice and agency. Healing involves reclaiming that sense of choice in manageable increments.

For the executive assistant who finds themselves dreading particular interactions, avoidance isn’t typically an option. Instead, preparation becomes crucial. These questions are central to a progressive approach to executive assistant wellbeing.

How might you resource yourself before difficult meetings? Who could provide support afterwards? What physical practices help your body release tension?

In trauma-informed care, we emphasise that healing happens in relationship. Management support professionals often work in relative isolation despite being surrounded by people. This means actively cultivating genuine connections where professional masks can occasionally be lowered.

Talk to colleagues

I’ve seen a concerning pattern. Some support professionals form close bonds with their executives. But they maintain careful distance from peers who might actually understand their experience.

The fear of appearing unprofessional or disloyal by discussing challenges can prevent accessing the very support that would enable sustainable service.

During a particularly demanding period supporting an executive through a corporate crisis, I scheduled a weekly coffee with another senior EA from a different department.

Our agreement was simple. This was a space where we could speak honestly without judgment or solutions. That forty minutes became an anchor that helped me navigate an otherwise overwhelming time.

Working towards sustainable excellence

The executive assistant profession attracts capable, empathetic individuals. They derive genuine satisfaction from supporting others’ success.

This orientation toward service is a profound strength. But it can also be a potential vulnerability when organisations fail to recognise the emotional costs involved.

If you’re an EA recognising this as your own experience, please know that acknowledging the impact of your work isn’t professional weakness. It’s the foundation of sustainable excellence.

The same skills that make you exceptional – emotional intelligence, adaptability, intuitive understanding of others’ needs – need intentional replenishment.

This understanding sits at the heart of meaningful conversations about executive assistant wellbeing.

The trauma-informed perspective offers a compassionate reframing. Those seemingly irrational reactions, the anxiety that appears disconnected from current circumstances, the difficulty switching off, aren’t personal failings but normal responses to abnormal levels of emotional demand.

Gentle awareness

The path forward isn’t about reconfiguring your professional identity.

It’s about realising that patterns that may have developed as necessary adaptations no longer serve your wellbeing.

It’s about expanding your capacity to notice and name your experience without immediate judgment. It’s about recognising that sustainable support of others requires sustainable support for yourself.

True resilience

For fifteen years I supported executives through their most challenging moments. I then worked with those experiencing profound trauma. I’ve come to understand that resilience isn’t about endlessly absorbing pressure without impact.

True resilience emerges from acknowledging our human limitations. It comes from the courage to honour them, even in environments that may implicitly demand their denial.

This is the new frontier of executive assistant wellbeing that deserves our attention.

The most valuable gift you can offer those you support is not unlimited availability or emotional absorption. It’s the grounded, regulated presence of someone who understands the difference between service and sacrifice.